“I am such an asshole sometimes”
Joshua: “huh”
“When I say asshole I actually mean Jerk”
Joshua: “Let me guess, when when you say I, you actually mean me”
“Bingo”
Archive for the 'Joshua' Category
09
Sep
PANTS PLEASE
Joshua: “Did they just say that women need to wear bras?”
“I dunno I thought that it was bad to wear bras stops toxins from getting out of your body”
Joshua: “If you really needed it you would have been born with it”
“What about underpants”
Joshua: “You don’t really need them”
“Dude if you are sitting on my couch you are going to need to be wearing underpants”
FILED BY MONKEYS UNDER: Huh? + Joshua. 0 Comments
06
Apr
DEAR JOSHUA
As we seem to be having a bit of a battle over who is going to change over the empty tube of toothpaste, I would like to let you know that I, as the clearly the only adult in the family have replaced it with a new tube.
Love Leany
UPDATE:
Apparently Joshua did not not have any trouble getting any toothpaste out of the “empty” tube hence he did not change it.
Thankyou Geek Friendly for the pic.
FILED BY MONKEYS UNDER: Dumb Ass + Joshua. 0 Comments
31
Mar
BALLTASTIC
Me: “Dude, I wash my face with that”
Joshua: “Its my loofah”
Me: “I thought it was fair game, I was certainly not aware that you scrubbed both your testicles AND ass with it”
Joshua: “Well now you do”
Me: “We are so getting separate showers, excuse my while I go throw up”
FILED BY MONKEYS UNDER: Dumb Ass + Joshua. 0 Comments
05
Feb
LATE NIGHT DETOUR
Scene: Quietly watching TV with my head in Joshuas lap when he suddenly gets up so quickly that my head hits the couch with an almighty thump, NO WARNING HE WAS GETTING UP!
“What the hell”
Joshua: “I just have to jump on the net to see what the biggest dog in the world is”
“Where did that come from, we are watching NCIS”
Joshua: “It just popped into my head”
“Riiiight”
FILED BY MONKEYS UNDER: Dumb Ass, Huh? + Joshua. 0 Comments
18
Dec
DUDE, SERIOUSLY!
Conversation after just dropping my watch off at the repair place to get a new battery fitted:
Me: “How long did he say it would take?”
Joshua: “He said it would take about 40 minutes, so (looking directly at me and asking) what time is it now?”
Me: “Dude, no watch, new battery, remember”
Joshua: “Oh yeah, totally forgot”
Me: “What are you, a goldfish?”
FILED BY MONKEYS UNDER: Dumb Ass + Joshua. 0 Comments
14
Nov
CHANCES????
Joshua: “That’s it dude, if you wont sit down I am not reading you this book”
Tobi: “Pleeeeeease”
Joshua: “No dude, thats it, there are no more chances left”
Tobi: “Can you check”
Joshua: “Look my pockets are empty. No more chances”
(Tobi gets up and heads for the door)
Joshua: “Where are you going?”
Tobi: “To check and see if Mummy has any chances in her pocket”.
FILED BY MONKEYS UNDER: Joshua + Parenthood. 0 Comments
11
Nov
“OW” INDEED
Joshua: “Ow”
“What?”
Joshua: “Did you leave the top drawer open in the kitchen?”
“God I dont know probably at some point”
Joshua: “Can you make sure you close it (painfully grasping his man parts)”
(laying on the floor cacking myself) “You just shut ‘yourself’ in the drawer didn’t you”
Joshua: “Maybe”
Edit by Joshua… Never happened
FILED BY MONKEYS UNDER: Dumb Ass + Joshua. 0 Comments
15
Oct
BEDTIME CONVERSATION
“If you were a superhero what would your title be?”
“I would be called BEAR MAN”
“Right. And what superpowers would you have?”
“I would have the ability to sleep all day, Oh and do giant pinecone sized craps everywhere”
“And that differs from now how exactly?”
FILED BY MONKEYS UNDER: Joshua. 0 Comments
